Remember_me

 Have you ever woken up in the middle of night, couldnt sleep because you are paralyzed  by your own throughts No?  Then before you lay down your harsh judgment then underdtand that"you'll never understand who I am"  Have you ever cried on the barthroom floor, cursed blindly, begged god to end your life No?  Then before you talk shit behind my back, understand that i was lost in pain and had enough hateful throughts Have you ever hated your self so much, that you took a blade to your skin because you had no choice No?  Then before you stab me with your words, understand that i may be already bleeding Have you ever experienced the feeling of been rejected by your own friends? Bullied violantly by your classmate? Replaced by your only best friend?  No?  Then before you take a step out my life dont make me notice, i may be filled with anxiety already

daddy why don't you love me anymore it's almost as if you're dead yet you're still alive mommy please i told you i was tired from the fight mommy dearest you are a fire bleeder a destroyer of all the things i held close i just want to sleep mommy please But i love you duddy and mommy,  a diferent kind of loving...

 I could write about feelings attractiveness- Of skin  Of eyes that heal my sadness, And a touch as light as silk. I was lost in reverie Perfection can kill the trust Instead, imperfection is not an ugly sight How dare you be so perfect How is your heart so cold but still makes me feel so warm You are making me feel wanted and full Yet they were times you made me cry I swear I felt it...right from the start Its hurt, its hurt...  But when the hurts keep hurting Would it be easy to live my life laughing? I fall inlove with the person who touches me So Please tear up my body, do anything you like Shouting, struggling, eyelids swelling I can feel the gravity of your hand, calling for mine Tantalizing like seeing the sun in the middle of night Was i awake?  I almost said it.  All I need is one ounce of strength to tell you every single thing that I have ever felt about you So please tear up my body And do anything you like My body is my home, my body is your wonderl...

 I'm still dying. But it's not my job to fix what you have broken I'm still fighting for us You have left an ache in my heart that I don't think will ever be fully healed. I tell myself that you still love me That you didn't mean to hurt me But it's all excuses I made, I know! Roaming in my vein, aren't you tired? Like an insatiable fire Don't apologize  You only get satiated when it is too late My love is as deep as the sea I definitely have clinomania You come across and asked me if I was okay Magically melting like candy on fire Knowing that us is just ephemeral But don't you remember our first last kiss?  How could things change into their opposites,  From love to hate.  From dulcet to repulsive Facking scenes in my head is a figment But is also a habit You and I are miscible A perfect story lived a million times in my head, but knowing that dreams never come true! I woke up with euneirophrenia And I felt sort of Eudaemonia They say our love is a...

 One day after my suicide... I felt in love with the way my mom cursed my name with anger, her blooded heart, how the tears were falling from her eyes as it's was snowing, how her heart was beating fast then faster, and how she put her traumatized hand on my face for the last time. I felt in love with how my dad was shocked, and the gaze on his face was full of sorrow. He kissed me for the first time on my head, and he soto voiced I'm sorry with a quavering voice. I felt in love with how my dog was waiting at the door, waiting for me to back from school, but I didn't. How the invisible tears were falling.  I fell in love with tears on my brother's face as he was a strong boy who never gives up on life's mistakes, I fell in love with how he looked himself in that room remembering our childhood like a fresh series. I fell in love with how my best friend received the news of my death, and how she was so sad about been too late.  I fell in love with my cousins and famil...

 They say...  If you are afraid that you will lose him  then  that is what will happen … you will lose him. And that is what happened!  Expired faith I'm trying to verbalize my feelings  You just reinvigorated my dysthymia Now I'm potentially pensive  Our adamancy was supercalifragilisticexpialidocious You are going through anagenesis I can't blame you because you are a human  And humans are agathokakological  Even I've always thought that you are an angel But you no longer mine Feel free to plagiarize But wait....!!! you should know that you making my dystonia lasting till midnight time You should know that I belong to you in the name of eternity  After all, I guess I'm not that strong, I think I'll cry... Dictionary: *Reinvigorate: to make someone feel healthier and energetic again. *Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious: extraordinary good, wonderful. *Redamancy: the ones that you love, love you back *Agathokakological: composed of both ...

 ~ I used to hug clothes just to feel that I'm hugging someone real ~ Every night I cry myself to sleep ~ Faking scenes give me butterflies ~ You are the one that I want to be with forever ~ Tears are stuck in my eyes, I need a shoulder to cry on ~ I feel rue about myself ~ Kiss me, like you kissing me for the Last time ~ Loving you obnubilated me ~ Let's watch the starry sky together ~ Heaven is a place where I can be with you ~ When you just want to Blunt, and your heart starts to hurt, the tears want to come out but somehow they can't, when you are surrounded by people and still feel lonely, when you are afraid and scared from everything, when you try to be happy but still feel sad, that's what depression looks like. ~ You love them, they don't. So don't beg them, they also have to beg someone else ~ I try to fall for you but it's just not the right things ~ Regrets ~ Touching is a feeling, that I still want to feel ~ With the right person, and at the rig...

 I'm afraid of losing you because if I lose you, I won't be the same anymore. I don't want to open my eyes knowing that you left. I confess that I got used to people leaving, and forsaking me, but youuu omg youuu... I'm ready to get off anything in my life just to keep you in, I'm ready to do everything just to make you wanna stay. Only if you know that I spent so many nights out on this balcony thinking about you, worried about you, Imagining life with you, missing you, longing for you. I cannot lose you, because if I lose you everything in my life will be meaningless,  My worst fear is losing you </3 Sometimes I just sit there and think, how lucky I'm to have you, I turn the light off, and I lay in bed in the messiest way possible. Comfortable, lightless, and my luculent feelings are tempestuous, steadfast against my blatherskite unconscious mind. I got a saccharine emotion when I think about you, and I beam with felicity every time I remember the first gaz...

  Warning!! This may be shocking for some readers.  I honestly don't know how to feel anymore, about anything, I don't know how to feel generally. Like how do I feel when I'm just so numb all the time, when I'm lying in bed and just staring at nothing for hours that feel like minutes, I don't know how to feel anymore, because before it was anger, and pain and suffering, and upset, and just so many emotions so much pain, but now there is just nothing, not having any emotions hurt more than anything could, that's why self-harm doesn't hurt anymore, that's why when I scratch my skin of my flesh, it's doesn't hurt anymore. I look at my scars right Now. And I just feel so conflicted, I feel hatred towards it, I see those marks on everybody that I love, I see those scars I cause to other people ON My Skin. And yet the people that I love are watching, and it's hurt them that hurt myself even if it didn't hurt... I don't know why I'm so o...

  For a better reading experience, I made a dictionary explaining hard words. Check at the end of the page. With a Quaver rhythm...   I pontificate my love in a rhetoric speech  I rue the fact that I blunt the last time we talked  I rue my unspoken feeling of been exigent I get qualms every time you ignore my presence Is cursing my name still make you satiated? You are no longer prudence You are no longer a nincompoop But your zeal is still getting higher when you touch my skin With a quaver rhythm... My tirade is no longer satisfying  My restive character is no longer fragrant  And between me and you, there is a hiatus barrier reek of flowers Kismet, searching for a panacea of our disease Dictionary: Quaver: A shake or tremble in a person's voice.  Blunt: saying what you think without trying to be polite.  Kismet: fate.  Panacea: A remedy for all disease or ills; cure-all. Hiatus: space where something is missing.  Zeal: great enthusias...

  Laughing to avoid crying is a different kind of pain And I laughed when your gaze scan to search for her not mine I laughed when you spent the whole night talking to her, and even didn't answer my "hello" I laughed the day you had a fight with her, she was so strong for daring to  bloke you, and I couldn't see you sad, so I happily talked to her about you, I laughed when she unblocked you and you didn't even say "thank u" for my trying I laughed when you forgot my birthday  I laughed when you tell her happy birthday with a picture of you both on your story I laughed because I didn't even have a picture with you  I laughed when you told me that you had a call with her, I laughed because I was dreaming of having a call with you I laughed when you told me that she is your crush I laughed at the way you come behind her and cover her eyes with your soft hands  I laughed because I couldn't deny that I was jealous It's was painful the time I spent...

 Dear reader, I always thought that I had a wider vision than everyone, experienced more than everyone, so I liked to act cool in public, telling people all kinds of logic. Friends, teachers also family used to tell me "why you are always smiling?" Like damn, can't you see the tears that I'm hiding, indeed, I liked that...showing others that I'm pretty great, that my life is super mysterious and ablaze.      Dear reader, actually the real me is different from what they have seen, I truthfully had no friends, all girls hated me, guys approaching me with the motive, no one treated me sincerely.        Don't think ill of me for saying so but the first time I tried to kill myself I was 14, I waited until my family went to work, and I was alone in the house, I picked up the knife, put it on my neck and pressed it slowly, meanwhile I realized that no one was watching, listening or caring and that there was only I and ME. I was about to abolish my life, ...

 Pain... She was my first lover I hugged her, she hugged me I suck her skin and marked her blood I don't know what I'm going to say the next time I see her How can she made me feel so abuse She cursed my heart with arrows  She makes me feel like an evil with no powers  Every night she took my hands as lovers do Bring me to her favorite place as a slave In her favorite place was no mercy You can hear the cries, you can see the room getting filled slowly with this salty water downing from people's eyes You can feel the gloom, the sadness, the sorrow, the melancholy standing next to you Next to you... it is the quickest my mind has ever been.

 Lord you hear me right? I'm sure you do, cause I'm feeling the presence of an invisible man by my side Lord, Meditation on the universe and its greatness in the sky  Oh my lord You are at the top and I am at the bottom The rain, the ray, the light, the elexir of the earth made me speechless against your splendour

 Love vaccinate us Cover me with the soft kisses of yours Make me feel sober while I'm drunk I become addicted to ur body I believe in god as long as he created a master piece as you Your name send a shiver run down my spine I cannot control it, how love got all this powers When love it's self can't explain it Maybe the sun and the moon will never meet Until that time I will never unlove you