Marry me or ill ruin your wedding

By Rim

 I'm afraid of losing you because if I lose you, I won't be the same anymore. I don't want to open my eyes knowing that you left. I confess that I got used to people leaving, and forsaking me, but youuu omg youuu... I'm ready to get off anything in my life just to keep you in, I'm ready to do everything just to make you wanna stay. Only if you know that I spent so many nights out on this balcony thinking about you, worried about you, Imagining life with you, missing you, longing for you. I cannot lose you, because if I lose you everything in my life will be meaningless, 

My worst fear is losing you </3

Sometimes I just sit there and think, how lucky I'm to have you, I turn the light off, and I lay in bed in the messiest way possible. Comfortable, lightless, and my luculent feelings are tempestuous, steadfast against my blatherskite unconscious mind. I got a saccharine emotion when I think about you, and I beam with felicity every time I remember the first gaze you put on me and never can forget how the grin on your face gave me infinite butterflies, I even still remember hearing your voice in person for the first time I turned around and felt my first weakness. Talking to you, texting you, faking scenes, all that makes me feel quite ambivalent. Makes me wanna cry, badly.

Sometimes, loving you obnubilate me, my skin blindly starts seeking your touch, my lips magically want to cope with yours, and even if I try to look at other boys, you are the only pretty bad boy I want to look at.

Your cold personality, I misunderstood it the first time, and shall I say that I was an idiot, to let you leave that way, I overthink all nights, pretending I was okay with your careless character, but I won't do the same mistake twice. Darling, I know now that you cared, but you had your life, and I stupidly was selfish for wanting you all for me. So this time, I'm really careful, I don't want to lose you again. 

My moody personality, is getting out of control, I might sound annoying, but baby I never lied about loving you, in my careless mood I wonder, do you love me as I love you? I want to hear it from you, someday. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow but I want you to stay. 

I've never told you that I loved you more than I love my dad, and I cared about you more than I cared about myself, you are the one that I want to protect, so please don't go away! 

I'm addicted to you, the fact that you dislike taking pictures is killing me, but when you show me accidently a pic of your hands, or jacket, or feet, I just melt in my place. Sweetheart, you are just a gift from God. And for the first time in my life, I'm begging someone to stay, beseeching you...

My future is empty without you, I can imagine our wedding day, or even how our kids will look like, I can plan your future birthday's surprise and many other things I can't stop myself from thinking about. 

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