Remember_me

  Warning!! This may be shocking for some readers.  I honestly don't know how to feel anymore, about anything, I don't know how to feel generally. Like how do I feel when I'm just so numb all the time, when I'm lying in bed and just staring at nothing for hours that feel like minutes, I don't know how to feel anymore, because before it was anger, and pain and suffering, and upset, and just so many emotions so much pain, but now there is just nothing, not having any emotions hurt more than anything could, that's why self-harm doesn't hurt anymore, that's why when I scratch my skin of my flesh, it's doesn't hurt anymore. I look at my scars right Now. And I just feel so conflicted, I feel hatred towards it, I see those marks on everybody that I love, I see those scars I cause to other people ON My Skin. And yet the people that I love are watching, and it's hurt them that hurt myself even if it didn't hurt... I don't know why I'm so o...

  For a better reading experience, I made a dictionary explaining hard words. Check at the end of the page. With a Quaver rhythm...   I pontificate my love in a rhetoric speech  I rue the fact that I blunt the last time we talked  I rue my unspoken feeling of been exigent I get qualms every time you ignore my presence Is cursing my name still make you satiated? You are no longer prudence You are no longer a nincompoop But your zeal is still getting higher when you touch my skin With a quaver rhythm... My tirade is no longer satisfying  My restive character is no longer fragrant  And between me and you, there is a hiatus barrier reek of flowers Kismet, searching for a panacea of our disease Dictionary: Quaver: A shake or tremble in a person's voice.  Blunt: saying what you think without trying to be polite.  Kismet: fate.  Panacea: A remedy for all disease or ills; cure-all. Hiatus: space where something is missing.  Zeal: great enthusias...

  Laughing to avoid crying is a different kind of pain And I laughed when your gaze scan to search for her not mine I laughed when you spent the whole night talking to her, and even didn't answer my "hello" I laughed the day you had a fight with her, she was so strong for daring to  bloke you, and I couldn't see you sad, so I happily talked to her about you, I laughed when she unblocked you and you didn't even say "thank u" for my trying I laughed when you forgot my birthday  I laughed when you tell her happy birthday with a picture of you both on your story I laughed because I didn't even have a picture with you  I laughed when you told me that you had a call with her, I laughed because I was dreaming of having a call with you I laughed when you told me that she is your crush I laughed at the way you come behind her and cover her eyes with your soft hands  I laughed because I couldn't deny that I was jealous It's was painful the time I spent...

 Dear reader, I always thought that I had a wider vision than everyone, experienced more than everyone, so I liked to act cool in public, telling people all kinds of logic. Friends, teachers also family used to tell me "why you are always smiling?" Like damn, can't you see the tears that I'm hiding, indeed, I liked that...showing others that I'm pretty great, that my life is super mysterious and ablaze.      Dear reader, actually the real me is different from what they have seen, I truthfully had no friends, all girls hated me, guys approaching me with the motive, no one treated me sincerely.        Don't think ill of me for saying so but the first time I tried to kill myself I was 14, I waited until my family went to work, and I was alone in the house, I picked up the knife, put it on my neck and pressed it slowly, meanwhile I realized that no one was watching, listening or caring and that there was only I and ME. I was about to abolish my life, ...

 Pain... She was my first lover I hugged her, she hugged me I suck her skin and marked her blood I don't know what I'm going to say the next time I see her How can she made me feel so abuse She cursed my heart with arrows  She makes me feel like an evil with no powers  Every night she took my hands as lovers do Bring me to her favorite place as a slave In her favorite place was no mercy You can hear the cries, you can see the room getting filled slowly with this salty water downing from people's eyes You can feel the gloom, the sadness, the sorrow, the melancholy standing next to you Next to you... it is the quickest my mind has ever been.

 Lord you hear me right? I'm sure you do, cause I'm feeling the presence of an invisible man by my side Lord, Meditation on the universe and its greatness in the sky  Oh my lord You are at the top and I am at the bottom The rain, the ray, the light, the elexir of the earth made me speechless against your splendour

 Love vaccinate us Cover me with the soft kisses of yours Make me feel sober while I'm drunk I become addicted to ur body I believe in god as long as he created a master piece as you Your name send a shiver run down my spine I cannot control it, how love got all this powers When love it's self can't explain it Maybe the sun and the moon will never meet Until that time I will never unlove you