my intelligence is not defined by a number, nor a letter. nor should I be graded on a curve by people who don’t know me. What does knowing the pythagorean theorem have to do with me being a good person? what will memorizing words on a page help me with my rage raging about how education has become this conveyor belt chewing up and spitting out society’s warped up idea of intelligence. Throw me in a classroom with twenty-something students just to tell me I’m better than him but not as smart as her teachers saturating our brains with force fed textbook equations telling us this is what we have to know to make it “make it on time”, they say “Passing it in late is not okay” but when I am eventually thrown out of this conveyor belt of education the realization will be that life does not have a set schedule. my life will not change on time, as you ask I cannot cram my creativity onto a five-paragraph piece of paper. I cannot crunch my knowledge down onto six pages about who I am Don’t ...
Laughing to avoid crying is a different kind of pain And I laughed when your gaze scan to search for her not mine I laughed when you spent the whole night talking to her, and even didn't answer my "hello" I laughed the day you had a fight with her, she was so strong for daring to bloke you, and I couldn't see you sad, so I happily talked to her about you, I laughed when she unblocked you and you didn't even say "thank u" for my trying I laughed when you forgot my birthday I laughed when you tell her happy birthday with a picture of you both on your story I laughed because I didn't even have a picture with you I laughed when you told me that you had a call with her, I laughed because I was dreaming of having a call with you I laughed when you told me that she is your crush I laughed at the way you come behind her and cover her eyes with your soft hands I laughed because I couldn't deny that I was jealous It's was painful the time I spent...
Between life and death, there is a hiatus, an uncompleted breath it's like when you're sleeping but not dreaming but you're conscious of the nothingness that has become for just a second, everything For a while, wind wants to be visible The bird wants to walk and the human wants to fly It's like seeking something we could not have We are paralyzed by our thoughts I'm eating hallucinations. I'm feeling colors Anger. Anxiety. Depression. Fear. Imagine these feelings Are a natural disaster. I am so fragile, and these feelings never left me without harm So death is my refuge I run Till the moment I put the knife on my neck Then I remember that I am a human feeling melancholy is a part of my existence And dying is ways failing the game of life Life is just a result of two random possibilities take it, leave it, grow out of it It's okay to not be okey~~
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