Wish i could save time in a bottle

By Rim

 I still reread our messages

As if the spaces in between our sentences

Would suddenly produce new words

It was like waiting for flowers to bloom in an eternal winter

I checked every period making sure that you were done saying what you wanted to say

And maybe you'd want to turn your periods into semicolons – your sentences may have ended but your thoughts haven't

I was trying to find something, anything

In the string of words we told each other

Staring at each "I love you"

Trying to figure out if maybe I did something wrong

I had no one to blame for your decision but myself

I couldn't even blame you, I loved you too much

In the sea of I love yous and sweet nothings

I was hoping to find when it exactly stopped

When you stopped feeling the same

When our love became one-sided and you left me hanging

When you let go and I was still holding on

Why didn't I notice that you were gone


If we wrote to each other in Chinese characters I wouldn't be surprised that I misunderstood you somewhere in the stroke of a letter

But we spoke the same language and loved the same things

We went to the same places and made plans about similar things

You made me believe that the language of love isn't French but it was whatever we spoke, whatever we felt,

yet it felt like your words passed through google translate so much so that it turned into a language only you could comprehend


If humans only use 10% of their brain

Well believe me I'm racking my brain so hard trying to understand why I just wasn't good enough for you that I may be using 10.1% of my brain already

Maybe I just missed something

Maybe we lost something along the way and I was too naive to notice

Maybe it's the fact that I loved you after all your mistakes and I tried to understand you like you were my favorite song in a foreign language and I just had to sing along

Maybe I was too blinded

By my own love


This one is not totally mine^^

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The way I see it

By Rim
 my intelligence is not defined by a number, nor a letter. nor should I be graded on a curve by people who don’t know me. What does knowing the pythagorean theorem have to do with me being a good person? what will memorizing words on a page help me with my rage raging about how education has become this conveyor belt chewing up and spitting out society’s warped up idea of intelligence. Throw me in a classroom with twenty-something students just to tell me I’m better than him but not as smart as her teachers saturating our brains with force fed textbook equations telling us this is what we have to know to make it “make it on time”, they say “Passing it in late is not okay” but when I am eventually thrown out of this conveyor belt of education the realization will be that life does not have a set schedule. my life will not change on time, as you ask I cannot cram my creativity onto a five-paragraph piece of paper. I cannot crunch my knowledge down onto six pages about who I am Don’t ...
Read more

I laughed just to avoid crying

By Rim
  Laughing to avoid crying is a different kind of pain And I laughed when your gaze scan to search for her not mine I laughed when you spent the whole night talking to her, and even didn't answer my "hello" I laughed the day you had a fight with her, she was so strong for daring to  bloke you, and I couldn't see you sad, so I happily talked to her about you, I laughed when she unblocked you and you didn't even say "thank u" for my trying I laughed when you forgot my birthday  I laughed when you tell her happy birthday with a picture of you both on your story I laughed because I didn't even have a picture with you  I laughed when you told me that you had a call with her, I laughed because I was dreaming of having a call with you I laughed when you told me that she is your crush I laughed at the way you come behind her and cover her eyes with your soft hands  I laughed because I couldn't deny that I was jealous It's was painful the time I spent...
Read more

Co-exist

By Rim
 Between life and death, there is a hiatus, an uncompleted breath it's like when you're sleeping but not dreaming but you're conscious of the nothingness that has become for just a second, everything For a while, wind wants to be visible The bird wants to walk and the human wants to fly It's like seeking something we could not have We are paralyzed by our thoughts  I'm eating hallucinations. I'm feeling colors Anger. Anxiety. Depression. Fear. Imagine these feelings Are a natural disaster. I am so fragile, and these feelings never left me without harm So death is my refuge I run Till the moment I put the knife on my neck  Then I remember that I am a human feeling melancholy  is a part of my existence  And dying is ways failing the game of life Life  is just a result of two random possibilities take it, leave it, grow out of it  It's okay to not be okey~~
Read more