Remember_me

 Have you ever woken up in the middle of night, couldnt sleep because you are paralyzed  by your own throughts No?  Then before you lay down your harsh judgment then underdtand that"you'll never understand who I am"  Have you ever cried on the barthroom floor, cursed blindly, begged god to end your life No?  Then before you talk shit behind my back, understand that i was lost in pain and had enough hateful throughts Have you ever hated your self so much, that you took a blade to your skin because you had no choice No?  Then before you stab me with your words, understand that i may be already bleeding Have you ever experienced the feeling of been rejected by your own friends? Bullied violantly by your classmate? Replaced by your only best friend?  No?  Then before you take a step out my life dont make me notice, i may be filled with anxiety already

daddy why don't you love me anymore it's almost as if you're dead yet you're still alive mommy please i told you i was tired from the fight mommy dearest you are a fire bleeder a destroyer of all the things i held close i just want to sleep mommy please But i love you duddy and mommy,  a diferent kind of loving...

 I could write about feelings attractiveness- Of skin  Of eyes that heal my sadness, And a touch as light as silk. I was lost in reverie Perfection can kill the trust Instead, imperfection is not an ugly sight How dare you be so perfect How is your heart so cold but still makes me feel so warm You are making me feel wanted and full Yet they were times you made me cry I swear I felt it...right from the start Its hurt, its hurt...  But when the hurts keep hurting Would it be easy to live my life laughing? I fall inlove with the person who touches me So Please tear up my body, do anything you like Shouting, struggling, eyelids swelling I can feel the gravity of your hand, calling for mine Tantalizing like seeing the sun in the middle of night Was i awake?  I almost said it.  All I need is one ounce of strength to tell you every single thing that I have ever felt about you So please tear up my body And do anything you like My body is my home, my body is your wonderl...

 I'm still dying. But it's not my job to fix what you have broken I'm still fighting for us You have left an ache in my heart that I don't think will ever be fully healed. I tell myself that you still love me That you didn't mean to hurt me But it's all excuses I made, I know! Roaming in my vein, aren't you tired? Like an insatiable fire Don't apologize  You only get satiated when it is too late My love is as deep as the sea I definitely have clinomania You come across and asked me if I was okay Magically melting like candy on fire Knowing that us is just ephemeral But don't you remember our first last kiss?  How could things change into their opposites,  From love to hate.  From dulcet to repulsive Facking scenes in my head is a figment But is also a habit You and I are miscible A perfect story lived a million times in my head, but knowing that dreams never come true! I woke up with euneirophrenia And I felt sort of Eudaemonia They say our love is a...

 One day after my suicide... I felt in love with the way my mom cursed my name with anger, her blooded heart, how the tears were falling from her eyes as it's was snowing, how her heart was beating fast then faster, and how she put her traumatized hand on my face for the last time. I felt in love with how my dad was shocked, and the gaze on his face was full of sorrow. He kissed me for the first time on my head, and he soto voiced I'm sorry with a quavering voice. I felt in love with how my dog was waiting at the door, waiting for me to back from school, but I didn't. How the invisible tears were falling.  I fell in love with tears on my brother's face as he was a strong boy who never gives up on life's mistakes, I fell in love with how he looked himself in that room remembering our childhood like a fresh series. I fell in love with how my best friend received the news of my death, and how she was so sad about been too late.  I fell in love with my cousins and famil...